Hi there! Glad you found me. Some of you may know that my life is no bed of roses but in amidst the tragedy there are truly beautiful moments. I've wanted to make the best of those moments for so long, and to help me I've decided to journey back and explore what makes me feel, think and behave the way I do. Hopefully I'll begin to understand more about me and begin to find more peace

This isn't a challenge blog but if you fancy joining me on my journaling journey, I'll leave a linky so you can post your thoughts.

Here's wishing you special moments in time

Wednesday, 12 October 2011

Looking Forwards

Well I've ascended from that dark place into the light again, and started looking forward and working out what the next part of my life I need to change might be.

The background on this page was made with a stencil brush and TH distress inks which was then stamped with a crackle stamp and the little flowers from the Basic Grey Sketchy Flourishes stamp set.  The eyes are from an old aspects of design stamp set and have been stamped on cheap copy paper then inked. The image with the three children reminds me very much of myself and two of my brothers when we were young and the paper artsy girl of an older me.

I finished the page off with some flourishes and swirls from the BG stamp set and a computer generated quote from somewhere.  The smaller lettering is from a set of those mini alpha stamps - essential journalling stamps.

Alan and I have spent the last few weeks just co existing whilst we fight our way through the pit we found ourselves in but today surfaced for the first time and realised that the first thing we want to change is the way we are together. We've spent so long just getting through each day that we have forgotten how to have quality interaction.  We don't talk any more!

So tonight we have,for the first time in many years, set a nice breakfast table and instead of my waiting in bed, playing on the iphone,  till Alan brings breakfast up, we are going to get up and have breakfast at the table, with clean linen, fresh flowers and two beautiful place settings and we will spend the first hour of our day actually communicating.

It's only a small thing to change but it's a step we can enjoy together - the first step in moving from victim to victor!  Wish us well!

I know that no one has had a go at the journaling suggestions yet but I am going to continue posting the linky so if the theme, Looking Forward, initiates the need to grab for a journaling pen and book, do leave a link so I can come and have a look.

In the meantime wishing you all you would wish for yourself
x Michelle

Thursday, 6 October 2011

This is how I feel today!

Not much to be said really, the page says it all.
Anyone else out there got one similar?

x Michelle

Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Fat n Finger Nails!

Saw this picture in a mag in the doctors surgery and just had to have it - it is so very much me.  I strive constantly to present myself well, Until lately I wouldn't go out without my face on and my nails perfectly done, despite being hugely overweight it was important that I looked right. I'd love to be chic and elegant but being the weight I am can only achieve good make up and nails. So this page is me - overweight and striving for perfection! lol

There's even the symbol of sin in there - can you spot it? - the snake winding it's way round the edge of the page.

There are lots of reasons we behave as we do, I have the healthiest diet you can imagine but when I'm stressed I reach for the chocolate. 

Addiction and compulsion is not a thing that's alien to we crafters, I bet there are many of you out there who struggle not to buy 'one more stamp' each month. 

I create artwork either on myself with my face and nails or on paper with my crafting until I'm too tired to do any more then descend into exhaustion and sit in the corner of my sofa eating chocolate.

It's not a great pattern of behavior but one I'm trying hard to change.

As always I'm going to leave a Linky as I'd love to see any pages you create, so cumon, make my day and post a page, maybe one about your compulsions.

x Michelle

Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Chasing My Tail

Love this picture, purloined from the waiting room whilst waiting for Al to see the Cardiac Consultant. I take my journal with me to appts cos they often take forever and I spend so much time in one hospital or another. 

The background was made from the paint sprayed onto a stencil when making another page, just turned it over and pressed it onto another page, a little tip from the journal queen herself Dy from Heart from the Heart. Check out her pages here they're awesome!

This last week I've had two appointments with Alan, been over to Harrogate to make sure Liam is ok. He's needing so much support at the moment just to help him learn to deal with his wife's autistic tendencies, had endless telephone fights with social services, managed to grab a couple of days with Alan in the caravan (felt guilty cos I hadn't even made him a card for his birthday) dropped Alan back at home and whizzed off with the caravan to South Shields to see Richard, my other son who is in rehab and terminally ill there, then back home yesterday to start battling with social services again

The page is called chasing my tail to remind me that I don't have to run around driving myself silly doing everything for everyone! I'm in the driving seat, I can decide which road to take and how fast to drive on it!  Simple when you say it like that isnt it? Putting it into practice is another thing entirely!

Gonna have to do it though or one day soon I'm gonna crash!

I bet this story rings a bell with so many of you so if it triggers a journal page leave a link so that I can pop over and have a look
x Michelle

Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Here we go again!

Ok, it's taken a while but finally felt emotional enough to attack a page in my journal.

was feeling sorry for myself and wanting to run away and hide, but isn't interesting that whilst I was fantasizing (and at my size it's definitely a fantasy) about the corner of the wardrobe, what I really wanted was someone to notice I was feeling black and make my life beautiful! Now there is the real fantasy, on which planet will that ever happen? lol

For those of you who want to have a go here's the theme

Use this page, the picture the feeling the words - anything about it at all, to initiate something you want to journal about.  It doesnt have to be a winge it could be a happy memory related to a wardrobe, are there happy memories associated to wardrobes????  This cound be kink...... interesting!!!!!

No pressure, have a go if you want, dont if you dont!
See Ya

x Michelle