I guess every time we get into a car, we run the risk of being involved in a serious accident and yet we drive, never expecting it to happen to us. I've had to shut away the memory and close down my feelings around the crash but it's difficult to be selective about what you allow yourself to feel and in doing so I shut out a lot of positive emotion.
Today I felt I needed to let a little of that horror into my mind and let it touch my heart.
It's amazing how journaling enabled me to look at some pretty horrendous stuff in a gentle and compassionate way.
Tonight I've been able to sit outside my room for a short period and the suicide checks have been less frequent. Earlier today it seemed that the staff were checking me every 5 minutes. I've been checking out the room though and as suicide proof as it is, there are a few possibilities they've missed. Whilst doing my journal I did begin to explore the idea of death by paper cut!!